Listening vs. listening well: it’s a distinction coaches need to recognize. Listening well can be transformational. However, it requires preparation and action for us as coaching leaders, accomplished through several steps before and during the coaching session.
Get ready for listening
Whether the conversation occurs when sitting down or while walking (a good environment for many coaching scenarios), the pre-steps are the same.
Choose a setting that is inviting and neutral to both parties, one that encourages an open conversation and new ideas. A “third place” is often a good choice for that reason. Arrange to shut out distractions and interruptions.
Prepare yourself
Take a few deep breaths and be ready to focus on the person you’re coaching at the start of your session.
- Face the person if you’re seated.
- Ensure your posture is open and relaxed.
- Nod or make other encouraging sounds.
- If culturally appropriate, maintain friendly eye contact and lean forward.
- Pay attention to the story behind nonverbal signals.
Silence the voices in your head
These are our own views of the world. Minimize the assumptions that may cause you to come to a conclusion before you have heard the team member’s full story. If you feel your own perceptions creeping in, tune them out. Bring yourself back to the present and re-focus on the other person.
Learn to wait for more during the conversation
Sometimes the full story takes time to emerge. Your job, as a coach, is to encourage and listen. The conversation is about the other person, not you. From your side, it should only be to reflect what you’ve heard, clarify, and show you understand what the person is saying. Your engagement is primarily through listening.
Reflect and clarify
Finally, how do you know if what you’re hearing is accurate? You can be sure only if you share what you’re hearing by reflecting it back verbally and asking for clarification. Active listening is creating a shared view of the world with the other person and opens the door to change.
It’s an essential component of your coaching toolkit.
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